The Power of Conscious Communication
When it comes to men’s work, consciousness in communication is a crucial element that holds importance in both personal and collective growth. Conscious communication acts as a foundation within a community of men who are committed to exploring, learning and developing themselves. Conscious communication involves mindful exchange of thoughts, emotions and ideas. This kind of communication is rooted in self-awareness, empathy and a genuine commitment to being true to oneself. In the realm of men’s work, conscious communication is deemed essential as it significantly contributes to the progress and transformation of the group, as well as each individual within it.
Conscious Communication in Men’s Work
One significant aspect of conscious communication in men’s work lies in the ability to express oneself authentically. This entails being connected with one’s emotions, thoughts and vulnerabilities while having the courage to openly share them. In the context of men’s work, mens groups meet regularly in men’s circles, as places of sharing, listening and, among other things, practice conscious communication. Authentic expression nurtures self-understanding and clarity, thus creating an environment where other men feel empowered and encouraged to do the same. Such openness and vulnerability contributes to building trust, and creating genuine connections among men.
Understanding Feelings and Emotions
Understanding the basics of emotions and feelings is crucial in enhancing emotional intelligence. Neuroscientist Dr. Sarah McKay's insight that "emotions play out in the theater of the body, while feelings play out in the theater of the mind" underscores the intricate relationship between our physical and mental experiences. Exploring basic emotions, such as happiness, sadness, fear, anger, surprise, contempt, aversion, and understanding how they affect us differently in the body, broadens our emotional awareness.
Distinguishing between emotions and feelings, as elucidated by neurologist Dr. António Damásio, highlights the dynamic interplay between automatic bodily reactions and the mental experiences that arise from them. Emotions are a primal response to external stimuli. They are triggered by the mind, but they happen inside the body, in the muscles, heart, lungs, in the endocrine reactions. Feelings arise when we become aware of our emotions, that is, the feeling occurs when our emotions are transferred to certain areas of our brain, and are encoded in the form of neuronal activity, imbuing events with meaning, thus influencing interpersonal relationships, and playing a crucial role in decision-making.
Emotional Inteligence
The journey toward conscious communication extends into the realm of emotional intelligence, as outlined by Daniel Goleman's five components: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Recognizing and managing one's emotions becomes integral to developing consciousness in communication building stronger relationships, achieving personal success, and realizing individual goals.
Self-awareness
The foundational pillar. Understanding one's emotions provides the groundwork for authentic and intentional communication. It allows individuals to express themselves sincerely and be cognizant of the impact of their emotions on their communication style.
Self-regulation
The ability to manage and control emotions. This facet of emotional intelligence ensures that communication remains thoughtful and considerate. By curbing impulsive reactions, individuals engage in more constructive and mindful conversations, even in challenging situations.
Motivation
Becomes the driving force propelling this journey forward. When motivation is fuelled by a desire for personal and professional success, communication takes on a purposeful and clear tone. Motivated communicators inspire others, navigate conflicts adeptly, and convey ideas persuasively.
Empathy
Another key component, plays a pivotal role in fostering genuine connections. Understanding and sharing the feelings of others contribute to a heightened sense of empathy in communication. This empathetic approach creates an atmosphere of understanding and cooperation, enhancing the overall quality of relationships.
Social skills
Cap off this journey, encompassing the ability to navigate social situations adeptly. Individuals with well-developed social skills communicate effectively, build and maintain relationships, and collaborate seamlessly. These skills amplify the impact of conscious communication within various contexts.
In essence, the integration of emotional intelligence into conscious communication is transformative. It not only deepens personal understanding but also cultivates a communication style that is empathetic, purposeful, and conducive to building stronger connections and achieving individual and collective goals.
Men practice active listening in a men’s circle, while another man shares.
Active Listening
Active listening is a fundamental component of focused consciousness in communication. In the context of men's work, the concept of listening levels is introduced to help individuals understand the depth of their engagement in conscious communication.
At the lowest level (-1), individuals find themselves talking to others simultaneously. This suggests a lack of true listening and understanding, where conversations are more about expressing one's own thoughts rather than genuinely connecting with the other person. This level might reflect a tendency to be absorbed in one's own perspective without fully acknowledging or appreciating the perspectives of others.
As individuals progress through the listening levels, they move towards a more conscious and empathetic form of communication. Higher levels of listening involve actively engaging with others in a way that fosters understanding and connection. Moving towards level 4, empathetic leadership, signifies the ability to create a profound impact through communication.
In the context of men's work, this framework encourages individuals to cultivate a higher level of conscious communication. It emphasizes the importance of not just hearing words, but truly understanding the emotions, intentions, and underlying messages conveyed by others. This approach fosters an environment of empathy, mutual respect, and authentic connection.
Conscious communication in men's work involves being present in conversations, setting aside preconceived notions, and actively seeking to understand others. It requires a genuine interest in the well-being of those you are communicating with and a willingness to engage in a way that promotes growth, understanding, and positive change.
By incorporating the concept of listening levels into the discussion of men's work and conscious communication, individuals are provided with a practical framework to assess and enhance their communication skills. This awareness can lead to more meaningful interactions, improved relationships, and a greater sense of community within the context of men's work.
Men take turns while sharing during an exercise in a men’s retreat. While one man shares, the other man listens actively without interrupting.
Empathic Communication
Rather than engaging in debates or attempting to persuade, empathic communication encourages a genuine interest in the other person's experiences and perspectives.
The phrase "tell me more" becomes a powerful tool in this context, signalling a commitment to listen and understand without judgment. This approach moves away from the traditional masculine tendency to convince or assert dominance in conversations, promoting curiosity and empathy instead.
Self-regulation becomes a cornerstone of this communication style. Men are encouraged to recognize and set aside personal biases and judgments, creating a space where the speaker feels safe to share openly. This not only requires emotional intelligence but also a willingness to be vulnerable and receptive to the emotions and experiences of others.
In addition to empathic listening, the use of effective questioning becomes paramount. Choosing "What?" and "How?" over "Why?" encourages open-ended exploration and invites the speaker to delve deeper into their thoughts and feelings. This approach avoids placing blame or creating a defensive atmosphere, contributing to a more constructive and enriching dialogue.
Mens group gathered in a men’s circle.
Men’s Circles as Places of Practice
A men’s circle is a gathering of men, organized in a structured manner, within the context of a mens group. The purpose of a men’s circle is for men to come together and delve into various aspects of their lives, identities, emotions, relationships, struggles and conquers. Typically led by an experienced facilitator, a men’s circle creates a supportive and ritualized environment within a men’s group, where men can communicate openly, authentically and vulnerably.
In the realm of men’s work and conscious communication, men’s circles focus on promoting growth, emotional intelligence and self-awareness among participants. Men’s circles incorporate meditation, mindfulness practices, group discussions, among other practices.
Through participation in men’s circles, individuals within a mens group can reflect on their human experiences as men born in a men’s body, challenge gender beleifs, narratives and stereotypes, as well as develop healthier ways of connecting within and others. The focus is usually on creating a space that's non judgmental and empathetic where men feel comfortable about sharing their challenges, successes, fears, struggles, goals and dreams.
In essence, men’s circles function as spaces where men exercise and practice men’s work tools, while supporting and uplifting each other on their path towards self-discovery, personal growth and conscious living. Men’s circles offer a platform for men to step away from societal pressures, toxic guilt, shame and stereotyped narratives, to embrace a more whole and authentic version of themselves.
As men engage in conscious communication within the framework of men's work, the journey evolves into a profound exploration of self-discovery, emotional intelligence, and authentic connection. By embracing these principles, men contribute to the emergence of a more conscious and evolved masculine presence in society—one that values vulnerability, empathy, and genuine human connection. This transformation not only benefits individuals on a personal level but also contributes to a broader cultural shift towards healthier and more meaningful interactions between men.
